My Future Children,

I promise to never read you bedtime stories. Never Dr. Seuss, or Charlotte's Web. You'll never find a key to a locked garden, or help Corduory find his pocket. I'll raise you right - in front of the television. Together, we'll play video games, winning once all the books are burned. We'll chant, "Reading is stupid! Reading is boring! Reading is stupid!" Our hands raised above our heads, turning and dancing with our avatars.
They'll say, "Who needs the library anyway?"
We'll say, "No one!"
They'll say, "Why read when you can watch TV and play video games?"
We'll say, "No one!"
They'll ask, "Who wants to play again?"
We'll yell, "We do!"

You'll press "restart", my future children, and I'll smile because I've spared you this pain.


-Yours